Shelly Moss

Jesus paid it all

2008-03-30T19:19:00.000-07:00

This morning in church we sang the song, Jesus Paid It All. While I was singing I noticed the line that comes right after the words Jesus paid it all. Next comes, All to Him I owe. Wow! who knew those words came next. :)
Recently I've been struggling with trying to take over my life. I want to be in control because I think I know what's best for me. I want to live my life the way I want and not the way God wants. I've really had to step back and let go.
I tell God that I want to live my life for Him. I want to be the person He wants me to be but then I go and take control. It's so hard for me just to trust God and not try to get what I want now. If I'm not taking control of my life then I'm just living my life and not thinking about who I'm living for. It is so easy for me to get lost in day to day life.
I used to think that at some point I would get to a place where I just lived the way God wanted me to live. Like I would reach this peak and just be able to coast through the rest of life. I have realized recently that this isn't true. It is going to be an everyday fight to live my life for Christ. To remember that I do owe Him everything. I pray God continues to remind me that He is in control and I'm not!

And I hear the Savior say
Thy strength indeed is small
Child of weakness watch and pray
Find in me thine all and all

Jesus paid it all
All to Him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

Joy

2008-01-30T18:29:00.000-08:00

I had to write a paper on joy for my internship. I thought it would be good to put up here, so here it is:

JOY
This year I have been trying to learn more about joy and how to live that out in my life. Through my study for Spiritual Emphasis Week chapel I have learned that joy is deep-seated gladness regardless of the circumstances. It does not depend on circumstances because it rest in God’s sovereign control of all things.
For so long I always thought that happiness and joy were the same thing. I thought I was being joyful when I was being happy. I have learned that this belief is not true. Happiness is not the same as joy. I think the biggest difference is that I am not happy when things are bad or are going wrong but I can be joyful in these situations. I have also learned where I should find this joy. Joy is found in God. As I put my trust and faith in God I see what it means to be joyful.
In preparation for writing this paper I began to think of ways that I have expressed joy in the situations life had brought my way. I came up with three big things that have gone on in my life over the last year and how I found joy in them. The first is my father’s depression and the time he had to spend in the hospital to deal with this depression. My dad was very close to committing suicide one day. He happened to somewhat casually mention to a coworker that he didn’t know what he was going to do when he went home. She thought he was playing at first but then she made him go to the hospital. They put my dad in an inpatient treatment program for a week. They didn’t put him on the suicide floor but I think they were close to putting him there. I was in Texas while all this was going on.
My first reaction was not a joyful reaction. I was scared and worried. I wanted to be in Georgia with my dad and was afraid about what was going to happen to him. Then as I was talking to some friends it hit me that this was actually an answer to prayer for my dad. I had been praying that God would get him some help and I knew that was what was happening. Once I had my perspective back on God I was able to find joy in the situation. This didn’t mean that I was happy about everything that was going on. It just meant that I was ok with it and was trusting God.
Since I have moved to Dallas life has been a little crazy and rough. God has asked me to deal with some really hard things in my life. There were so many days during my first year in Dallas that were just dark and hard to live through. There was a time when I would be driving in my car and would think, “If I just kept driving no one would miss me”. I never wanted to kill myself but I did think I could just disappear and the world would go on without me. As I look back on the dark days God brought me through and where I am now I can find joy in this situation. I’m pretty sure that I didn’t have joy then but I have it now. I know my faith and trust in God is so much stronger now. I will remember these days as I face other tough days in my life.
The last situation I thought of was a friendship I have been dealing with over the last 7 months. This friendship has been complicated at times. There have been days my heart hurt so much and I never wanted to see this person again. Those were some tough days but even as I went through those days I knew God would get me through. At first I couldn’t understand why I was reacting the way I was or what was going on. Then I hit a point where I could tell God was teaching me things about myself and molding me into the person He wants me to be through this friendship. I was able to find joy even through the hard times.
I have learned that joy doesn’t depend on my circumstances but does depend on my faith and trust in God. I’ve also learned that finding joy in situations does not always come easily but as we go through the tough times and see God pull us through joy is a little easier to find. I have enjoyed the ways God has shown me to find joy in my circumstances.

Protection verses Shelter

2007-12-14T20:22:00.000-08:00

The other night I was spending some much needed time alone with God. For one of my classes I had to work on a "spiritual discipline". The one I was working on was listening to God. This is something that's very hard for me. I get so busy and my mind goes 90 miles per hour thinking of what I need to get done or what is going on in my life. So I decided that I would just spend some time listening to God. I didn't know exactly what I was listening for but I was listening.
While I was spending this time listening I had this thought, "There is a difference between protection and shelter." For sometime before this night I had noticed how God has protected me in life. I had begun to really appreciate this character of God. The problem was that at the same time that I was beginning to really charish this I was also complaining to God about some things that were happening in my life. Then I had this thought about the difference between protection and shelter.
I just thought about this for a minute. What did this mean? How did the difference between these two words affect me? Then I got it. The light bulb went on in my head. God does and has protected me but God does not shelter me. I will have to go through some tough times in life that are not fun and that hurt. God won't shelter me from these things. I have to go through some hard times and they are going to hurt but God's always there for me!! He won't shelter me but He will protect from some things!!

My Psalm 139

2007-11-11T08:55:00.000-08:00

In my teaching process class we have to break up into groups and each group teaches one class period. We are then evaluated on our teaching. Well a few weeks ago one of the groups taught through Psalm 139:1-6. As an activity for the class we were given paper and asked to rewrite the Psalm for ourselves. I loved this activity so much that I decided to post it on here. So here goes.....

Psalm 139:1-6

O Lord, you know me inside and out.
You know my actions for the day and my good intentions;
You know my thoughts and fears even before I do.
You evaluate the path I'm walking
And know my ways inside and out.
Even before I precede through the day, and think my thoughts or say my words,
Lord, You know them all.
You encircle me on all sides,
And have laid your hand of protection and guidance upon me.
Lord, how amazing it is to know that You know everything about me
and still love me just the same.

Answered prayers

2007-10-21T19:42:00.001-07:00

The other day I was thinking about how God answers prayer. At the time I was realizing how He has and is answering my prayers without me even knowing. As I was thinking about this I realized that I pray without always expecting God to answer. In my head I know He's supposed to answer but I'm not always on the look out for that answer or I think He is going to answer the way I want and totally miss His answer.
For as long as I can remember as a kid growing up I prayed that my parents wouldn't get a divorce. They fought constantly and I could see the divorce coming. I remember sitting in my room and just begging God that it wouldn't happen. Then one Sunday afternoon during my junior year of high school it happened. I was devistated. I couldn't figure out why God would let this happen. Hadn't I spent all this time praying that they wouldn't get divorced? Wasn't He supposed to answer our prayers? I just couldn't figure it out.
I felt that same feeling just the other day right before I realized how he was answering my prayers. My "theme song" over the past couple months has been Inside out by Hillsong. I LOVE this song! It talks about wanting to love God from the inside out. What an amazing thought. Everytime I would hear this song that would be my prayer. I would listen to the song over and over just pouring my heart out to God. Infact one morning I think I did half of my workout just to this one song.
At this same time I was really struggling with some internal battles. I was dealing with things I've never struggled with before. I never knew they were a problem. I was so frustrated this one day that I sat down on the floor in my room and asked God, "Why am I steal dealing with this? Why can't I get over this and move on? It's not supposed to be this hard. I'm not supposed to feel this way." Then this thought popped in my head, This is what is on the inside of your heart. Wow! God was answering my prayer and I didn't even realize it. That prayer I had prayed so many times through the song He was answering. He was digging up the junk out of the inside of my heart and healing me so that I could love Him from the Inside Out. I just sat there for a minute amazed at how He works. The only words I had to say were, Thank you. Thank you for answering my prayer!
God definately hears and answers our prayers. He may not always answer them the way we think they should be answered. Infact, rarely will He answer the way we think He should but He always answers. As I sit hear reading this I think of so many ways God has answered my prayers. It's just amazing. What a blessing it is to know He is so faithful and trustworthy.

Here we go......

2007-09-07T19:12:00.000-07:00

So I'm new to this whole "blogging" thing but the other day I was thinking it might be fun and I should give it a shot.....so here we go. :)

I was driving in the car the other day and listening to a new Nicole C Mullen cd my mom bought for me. My favorite song is Call on Jesus. As I was singing this song (of course I was singing with the windows down and the volume up!) I started paying attention to the message of the song. The song talks about how we can do anything with Jesus' help. No matter how bad things look if we ask Jesus for the help to get through He will help us. All of a sudden I realized how much Jesus has helped me over the last 6 months.

I look back on the last 6 months and am amazed at God's faithfulness and provision in my life!!! I think my lowest point was the week after spring break. I woke up every morning and just cried. I didn't want to be in Dallas anymore. I only managed to make it to 2 of my 6 classes that week. I thought that if I just disappeared no one would really miss me. I never thought of killing myself, just disappearing. The final straw was when I had a fight with my boss. I went back to my house and threw a whole bunch of clothes on the floor. I was packing my bags and going back to Georgia that night. We could come back later and get all my stuff. I wasn't even going to stay to finish the semester. I really think at that point I wasn't even going to stay long enough to say goodbye to anyone. I didn't need to say goodbye if no one cared if I just disappeared.

Thankfully I did not go back to Georgia that day. I stayed in Dallas thanks to the help of my counselor, SF leader, and two roommates. I still struggled with not wanting to be in Dallas. See when I came to seminary I thought I was coming to learn lots about God. Well, He knew I was also coming to learn lots about myself and to deal with a few things in my past that I've never really dealt with. I began to pray for healing and I asked God to reveal to me why I felt the way I did about myself. I prayed that He would get me through this time of struggle.

Well, I am here to say that God is faithful!!! It was a tough road and the change did not happen over night but I am amazed at how far God has brought me. I actually like being in Dallas. My faith, trust, and reliance on God has grown so much. (Maybe I'm a little closer to having that mustard seed sized faith) I used to tell people that I wanted to give God more of my day and that was one motivation I had to go to seminary. Well, guess what....through this time of struggle I have learned to give Him much more of my day! It's not always easy and I still struggle with things. The difference now is that I can look back on how Jesus (Immanuel) has been here with me and brought me through. I trust that He is still with me and will bring me through whatever life throws my way. When I call on Jesus all things are possible......